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WA ACTION ALERT* PLEASE CALL TODAY HB 2448 will create and fund the complete takeover of childcare from pre-birth to age five.

HB 2448  will create and fund the complete takeover of childcare from pre-birth to age five, at which time mandatory Kindergarten takes place. Starting with the funding of a “voluntary” Washington Preschool Program and phasing in birth through three year olds, the plans will eventually create a regulated school system with performance standards, one-size-fits-all outcomes, and assessments for all children birth to five.  The Department of Early Learning (DEL) 2011-2014 Strategic plans reveal that this “high quality” government early learning system will provide programs that include prenatal care, health & nutrition, social-emotional mental health development, parent/community partnerships, and required college degrees for all providers. (pg 7)

Please contact your legislator to express your concerns on this bill!

Step 1:  Contact your three legislators

Step 2:  Contact the members of the Early Learning Committee

Step 3:  Show up at hearings – check “Bill Summary” for progress

(Special hearing January 23rd – 6:00 pm – John Obrien bldg # D)

Hotline 1-800-562-6000   

Any preschool or child care provider taking state monies will be the first organizations forced into this system which dictates how many students they can have, how much to charge, the hours they operate, the curriculum they must offer, teacher training, and health reporting requirements on all children.  Essentially this is a backdoor to bringing privately held businesses and non-profits under the umbrella of government control.  Religious organizations will also be subjected to DEL regulations that mandate their programs be “free from religious instruction, activities, symbolism, and control or influence” if any of their students qualify for child care assistance.  (HB 2448 pg 3 line 34-38)

Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chile taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.

 Frank: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off.  The original judge called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3.”

 Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 – MIKE’S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI

  Judge # 1 – A little too heavy on the tomato.  Amusing kick..

  Judge # 2 – Nice, smooth tomato flavor.  Very mild.

  Judge # 3 (Frank)- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway…took me two beers to put the flames out.  I hope that’s the worst one.  These New Mexicans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 – EL RANCHO’S AFTERBURNER CHILI

Judge # 1 – Smoky, with a hint of pork.  Slight jalapeno tang.

  Judge # 2 – Exciting BBQ flavor. Needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

  Judge # 3 – Keep this out of the reach of children.  I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain.  I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver.  They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 – ALFREDO’S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

Judge # 1 – Excellent firehouse chili.  Great kick.

  Judge # 2 – A bit salty, good use of peppers.

  Judge # 3 – Call the EPA.  I’ve located a uranium spill.  My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano.  Everyone knows the routine by now.  Get me more beer before I ignite.  Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest.  I’m getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 – BUBBA’S BLACK MAGIC

Judge # 1–Black bean chili with almost no spice, disappointing.

 Judge # 2 – Hint of lime in the black beans.  Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 – I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it.  Is it possible to burn out taste buds?  Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT…  Just like this nuclear waste I’m eating!  Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 – LISA’S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

Judge # 1 – Meaty, strong chili.  Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick, very impressive.

Judge # 2 – Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 – My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes.  I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics.  The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage.  Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher.  I wonder if I’m burning my lips off…It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.  Screw them.

CHILI # 6 – VARGA’S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

Judge # 1 – Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili.  Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 – The best yet, aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.

Judge # 3 – My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames.  I crapped on myself when I farted, and I’m worried it will eat through the chair.  No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally . Can’t feel my lips anymore.  I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 – SUSAN’S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

Judge # 1 – A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 – Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment.  **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3.  He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 – You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a thing.  I’ve lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water.  My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth.  My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me.  I’ve decided to stop breathing.  It’s too painful.  Screw it; I’m not getting any oxygen anyway.  If I need air, I’ll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 – BIG TOM’S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI

Judge # 1 – The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili.  Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 – This final entry is a good, balanced chili.  Neither mild nor hot.  Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself.  Not sure if he’s going to make it.  Poor fella, wonder how he’d have reacted to really hot chili?

Judge # 3 – No report.

From a FaceBook Post, by Lara Love

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