Polar Bears and Dogs

*
*
*
*
*
*
*

*
*
*
*
*
*

**************

WA ACTION ALERT* PLEASE CALL TODAY HB 2448 will create and fund the complete takeover of childcare from pre-birth to age five.

by Autumn Torres on Monday, January 23, 2012 at 1:41pm

HB 2448  will create and fund the complete takeover of childcare from pre-birth to age five, at which time mandatory Kindergarten takes place. Starting with the funding of a “voluntary” Washington Preschool Program and phasing in birth through three year olds, the plans will eventually create a regulated school system with performance standards, one-size-fits-all outcomes, and assessments for all children birth to five.  The Department of Early Learning (DEL) 2011-2014 Strategic plans reveal that this “high quality” government early learning system will provide programs that include prenatal care, health & nutrition, social-emotional mental health development, parent/community partnerships, and required college degrees for all providers. (pg 7)

Please contact your legislator to express your concerns on this bill!

Step 1:  Contact your three legislators

Step 2:  Contact the members of the Early Learning Committee

Step 3:  Show up at hearings – check “Bill Summary” for progress

(Special hearing January 23rd – 6:00 pm – John Obrien bldg # D)

Hotline 1-800-562-6000   

Any preschool or child care provider taking state monies will be the first organizations forced into this system which dictates how many students they can have, how much to charge, the hours they operate, the curriculum they must offer, teacher training, and health reporting requirements on all children.  Essentially this is a backdoor to bringing privately held businesses and non-profits under the umbrella of government control.  Religious organizations will also be subjected to DEL regulations that mandate their programs be “free from religious instruction, activities, symbolism, and control or influence” if any of their students qualify for child care assistance.  (HB 2448 pg 3 line 34-38)

Martin Luther King Day

 

 

 

 

 

Time for a Beer

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams.  If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.  I think, “It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”  

Babe  Ruth    

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink.  When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”  

Lyndon  B. Johnson  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”  

Paul Horning

~~~~~~~~~  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.  Coincidence?   

I think not.”

H. L. Menchken 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

“When we drink, we get drunk.  When we get drunk, we fall asleep.  When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.  When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.  So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!”  

George  Bernard Shaw  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”  

Benjamin  Franklin  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”  

Dave  Barry

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

BEER:  HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!  

W.  C. Fields  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

Remember  “I” before “E,” except in Budweiser.  

Professor  Irwin Corey

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

To some it’s a six-pack, to me it’s a Support Group – Salvation in a can!  

Leo  Durocher

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the ” Buffalo Theory” to his buddy Norm:    

“Well, ya see, Norm, it’s like this.  A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.  And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.  Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.  But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way,  regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine!  That’s why you always feel  smarter after a few beers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Submitted by B.A.

Wall St. vs OWS

Immigration & Gumballs

New Mexico Chili Cook-off

For those of you who have ever lived in New Mexico, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around.  It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Santa Fe Plaza.

Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chile taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.

 Frank: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off.  The original judge called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3.”

 Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 – MIKE’S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI

  Judge # 1 – A little too heavy on the tomato.  Amusing kick..

  Judge # 2 – Nice, smooth tomato flavor.  Very mild.

  Judge # 3 (Frank)- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway…took me two beers to put the flames out.  I hope that’s the worst one.  These New Mexicans are crazy.

 

CHILI # 2 – EL RANCHO’S AFTERBURNER CHILI

Judge # 1 – Smoky, with a hint of pork.  Slight jalapeno tang.

  Judge # 2 – Exciting BBQ flavor. Needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

  Judge # 3 – Keep this out of the reach of children.  I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain.  I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver.  They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

 

CHILI # 3 – ALFREDO’S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

Judge # 1 – Excellent firehouse chili.  Great kick.

  Judge # 2 – A bit salty, good use of peppers.

  Judge # 3 – Call the EPA.  I’ve located a uranium spill.  My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano.  Everyone knows the routine by now.  Get me more beer before I ignite.  Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest.  I’m getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer.

 

CHILI # 4 – BUBBA’S BLACK MAGIC

Judge # 1–Black bean chili with almost no spice, disappointing.

 Judge # 2 – Hint of lime in the black beans.  Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 – I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it.  Is it possible to burn out taste buds?  Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT…  Just like this nuclear waste I’m eating!  Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 – LISA’S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

Judge # 1 – Meaty, strong chili.  Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick, very impressive.

Judge # 2 – Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 – My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes.  I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics.  The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage.  Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher.  I wonder if I’m burning my lips off…It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.  Screw them.

CHILI # 6 – VARGA’S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

Judge # 1 – Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili.  Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 – The best yet, aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.

Judge # 3 – My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames.  I crapped on myself when I farted, and I’m worried it will eat through the chair.  No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally . Can’t feel my lips anymore.  I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 – SUSAN’S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

Judge # 1 – A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 – Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment.  **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3.  He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 – You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a thing.  I’ve lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water.  My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth.  My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me.  I’ve decided to stop breathing.  It’s too painful.  Screw it; I’m not getting any oxygen anyway.  If I need air, I’ll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 – BIG TOM’S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI

Judge # 1 – The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili.  Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 – This final entry is a good, balanced chili.  Neither mild nor hot.  Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself.  Not sure if he’s going to make it.  Poor fella, wonder how he’d have reacted to really hot chili?

Judge # 3 – No report.

From a FaceBook Post, by Lara Love

 

###

Anthropomorphic Nouns

The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals. We are all familiar with a

Herd of cows,

a Flock of chickens,

a School of fish

and a Gaggle of geese.

However, less widely known is:

a Pride of lions,

a Murder of crows

(as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens),

an Exaltation of doves

and, presumably because they look so wise:

a Parliament of owls.

Now consider a group of Baboons.

They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates.

And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?

?

?

Believe it or not … a Congress!

A CONGRESS OF BABOONS!

I guess that pretty much explains the things that come out of Washington !

Something to think about . . .

LET’S SEE IF I’VE GOT  THIS  CORRECT –  - -

 

RE: 3 American Hikers Now  In The NEWS
——————————————————————-
IF  YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER
ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS  HARD LABOR.


IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER
ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.


IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER
ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.


IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER
ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.


IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER
ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.


IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER  ILLEGALLY YOU
WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE  SEALED.


IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY
YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.


IF YOU CROSS THE  U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET :

A JOB, A DRIVERS LICENSE, SOCIAL SECURITY CARD, WELFARE,

FOOD STAMPS, CREDIT CARDS, SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE,

FREE EDUCATION, FREE HEALTH CARE, A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS  PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE
THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR  COUNTRY’S FLAG WHILE YOU
PROTEST THAT YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH  RESPECT

AND, IN MANY INSTANCES, YOU CAN VOTE.
I JUST WANTED TO MAKE  SURE I HAD A FIRM GRASP ON THE “SITUATION”!

New Zogby Poll Shows Herman Cain Clearly in the Lead – By A Lot

New Zogby Poll Shows Herman Cain Clearly in the Lead – By A Lot.

Brain Dead Anarchists & Socialists ~ on Twitpic

Brain Dead Anarchists & Socialists ~ on Twitpic.